the space of almost

There have been a few times in my life where I could have settled and been able to live with it. Settle for a job. Settle for a person or relationship. Settle for something less than I have always pictured. I would ask myself a really hard question, "Is this the best it's going to get?" I have faced times in my life where I have thought, 'This could work.' 'This is almost everything I've ever wanted.' Almost.

Mark Groves is a human connection specialist, who has a large following on social media under an account called @createthelove. Follow him, he's amazing. He mainly posts advice on relationships, no bull sh*t included. And about a year ago, he posted a photo that said this...

You will never have to force what is real. Ever.

I can relate this to everything in life. I shouldn't have to force anything because that would be going against my want to thrive and live big. I think everyone can agree that they want the same thing. On this post, he continued to write about that 'almost' feeling. How we can get so close to our dreams and then choose to settle because we feel that is the closest we will ever get. He wrote, "As we execute this dream or plan that we created, someone (or something) pops into our life...and they are so it. Almost."

A lot of people live their WHOLE life in that headspace. It's like preparing to run a marathon and making it to the very last mile, then stepping off into the crowd right before the finish line and saying 'this is good enough.' We deserve better than that. Groves listed out the reasons why some people choose to stay in the 'almost' regarding a relationship:

• We are afraid to be alone.

• Our biological clock tells us we want a relationship now.

• We feel shame for being alone.

• Our self worth is in the hands of love.

• We are scared of the relationship we say we want.

That last point rings truest for me. I am terrified of entering into the life that I have dreamt about for so long. Honestly, I don't think I will believe it when the person that I've been waiting to find, chooses me too. I have full trust in God that He is writing an even greater story than I could ever do myself because He has shown to write the kind of stories that involve needing a pinch to know it's not a dream. But it is scary...at least for me. I have learned to use that fear as a launchpad. I use that fear as motivation to live to the fullest and trust that God has something else coming. Anything that is 'almost' is not from God. Not with just a relationship but with everything. Don't settle for anything less than what you truly, deeply want. "It is safer to stay in this 'almost zone' because the connection can never escape us and we will never have to truly show up," said Groves. And that is a sad way to exist.

When are we going to get mad and shift our lives?

When are we going to wake up to our possibility and pursue a life worth living?

A few more notes from Groves:

- We are all so much better than 'almost'... but when we stay and pursue something that is not a HELL YES, then we are telling ourselves that WE are not a hell yes.

- The message we send to ourselves and the world is that we are not worth more.

- We have to make decisions that truly reflect what we want to say. And that reflect what we say we want.

So I don't know about you, but I want the life worth living. I want to chase after exactly what I want and nothing short of it. Because I am worth it! So are you. You are worth every great thing that enters into your life. I think to escape this 'almost' we have to make some difficult decisions. For me, I have had to walk away from some good people. I have had to say no to some good opportunities (and just say no in general). I have had to share my feelings even when I didn't want to. It is hard to turn down something that is so close to what you want because you ask yourself, 'IS THIS IT?' But I'm here to tell you...it's not.

So hold on for just another day. Smile at the fact that everything you want is out there, it just takes time...not according to your own clock but in God's timing. Ask yourself if the life you want is worth the wait, and if your answer is no, try dreaming bigger.

"If it is not a full body F*CK YES!

It's a hell no.

If you need to ask yourself if it's right, then you've found your answer (No.)" -Sjana Elise

Always,

Sara